Raccoons Love Beyonce

Hello. See something you like?
Dave, 22, Scott Pilgrim is my spirit animal, I'm happily taken, let's talk Bioshock, Evangelion, Pokemon, or Superheroes.

Is it so much to ask to just have a flat field of grass with a forest in the background where we can set up a canopy and get married and feed people burgers and get one or two of the uncles drunk without it costing $3000?